Ever since My friend died six weeks ago suddenly, I feel like I am on a death watch, I just have the feeling if she could dy so suddenly who is next, I hate that feeling, I want to feel as a child feels free from the burden of thoughts of gloom and doom, I watch my 2 year old grandchild and she is so happy witht he little things and is care free, except for where her next bottle is coming from, I find myself wishing I could drwon my thoughts and fears in a bottle also, but I don't drink or even like to drink, so that is out, guess I have to face my pain, I just hate it though and I wish people would stop saying inane things like she is in a better place, If one more person says that to me I swear I will slap them, sshe would want to be here not in a better place, I find that to be no comfort at all, thanks for those of you who have written me, I just don't know how to reply to you yet, this is all knew to me.
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