another day

Well, another cold morning, can't wai for spring, I always feel so closed up when it is cpld, my body even feels closed.
I read a interesting story in New yorker last night about a man who gave away Millions of his fortune and then gave away his kidney and wanted to give away more body parts, course he couldn't but he wanted to.
I had just beeen thinking before I read that story that I have a socialist mentality, I have never thought that some people should own six houses when the rest of us do not even own anything, why do you need six houses anyways?????
I have always admired Tolstoy and others like him, even christ preached a socialist message, if I was rich I would never keep it I would give to others and not just charities, I would give to people I kknow to make there life better.
on another subject, I keep forgetting for a moment my friend has died and want to call her, I guess that is common when you lose someone suddenly.
I never thought that she wuld be gone for a good many years never mind gone from me in such a short time I had just given her her Birthday present and had her christmas gifts wrapped, her birthday was Dec. 6th and she died Dec. 13th.

autonamy

I Like the idea of writing when I am unknown it frees me from all my inhibitions, I think this will help.
Glad I started this, I hope eventually I find my voice and can ad something interesting to read about.

Where do I go from Here

All my life I did not feel like, I belonged in this world, , This world feels foriegn to me and the people who inhibit it , like strangers to me sometimes, My feelings never seem to match up to others, like how ever since I was young, I have always been for the underdog, no matter how bad the crime, I always feel somehow bad for the criminal, not that I think what they do is right, of course I don't but, I just feel bad for them that they did something bad and will now have to be punished for it, I know this is not acceptanle but it is how I feel, my phychitrist once told me if someone tried to kill you, you would ask for a paper and pen to write a sucide note so he wouldn't have to go to Jail.
I wonder at the reason behind my thinking often. I have never felt predjudice that I know of at least, I am far from perfect though and have many mistakes in my life, nothing serious though, and i am not a person who even thinks I am perfect, I just which I knew why I have so much empathy.
I recently lost my best friend to a sudden death and with out her here in the world, I feel lost and that is why I started to write this Blog, she was my sounding board, now I am left with no one I can talk with and just refelect over ideas.
I don't want this to be ordered I just want to randomly express my feelings on things from current issues to my personal struggles.