Musing

wow, it has been a long time since I have written, I feel the need to create a place where I can really say what I think and feel and have lived and no one will know it that I know, so I can be free in my expressions of my soul.
I find that it is hard to say what you really feel when you know someone might read it , I keep journals and have for 10 years but those journals will go to my children when I die so I still have to be measured in what I say for there sake.
I am so happy with my move, I moved to a old farm on 60 acres and I love it here, it is just what I wanted, I am not happy with my husband we have been married 15 years and in all that time I have not been happy with him, we are not suited for each other, but being the soft touch I am I just can't bring myself to divorce him, I am not terribly unhappy as he is not bad to me , it is more like we are just roomates.
He is 13 years older than me and my only chance for happiness will be if I out live him, I know that sounds awful and I wish him no ill will but it is how I feel.
There are many issues in my life I need to resolve before they really create problems for me, so I am hoping this year will be a year of clearing my life of problematic issues.